Guest: Emily Patterson

"Yes" is a such a good word.

"Mom, can I crack the eggs?"
''Mom, can I build a giant fort in the living room?"   
"Mom, can I go out in the rain?"

When I answer "yes" to questions like these, I get a little whispered "yes" back (and sometimes a fist pump). Then he runs away immediately, before I can change my mind.

 

 

I remember how it felt when my parents said 'yes' to me:
Yes, I could take the car. (Sweet freedom!)
Yes, I could go to the beach with that friend. (It's Christmas!)
Yes, I could have $5. (I was easy to please)

It makes my kids so happy when I say yes -- like I think they actually grow taller -- I wonder why I don't do it more often. Wait. Yes I do. It's because I am boring. I worry about the mess they will make or the work it makes for me afterwards when they disappear at clean-up time. My list of excuses is long. So I say, "No, not today." But I say that too often!

Recently, I spent a few weeks worrying about my oldest son. We were arguing daily and he didn't seem very happy. I prayed that I would do whatever it was that God wanted me to do to be a better parent. Then, once while I was vacuuming, I got an answer! A simple prompting:
"Say yes more." Made perfect sense.

I have been doing this. It has made all the difference in the world!  Of course, I still say no to a bunch of stuff like: "Can I have another brownie?" (3rd one @ 9pm) or "Can I lay on the floor while we are driving?"

But, this change has made my house more playful.

We recently invented this game...

I've been thinking about why saying yes to children is so great.
I remembered stories about the Prophet Joseph Smith. He was always getting caught playing games with the kids in Nauvoo. He probably said yes to them as much as possible.

Also, when I pray for what I desire to my Heavenly Father (I am still a child in this way), he usually says "yes". He knows I might get hurt or make a mess, but it is good for me to try new things and express my independence (agency) so I can learn and grow.

Yes! (fist pump)